


Lionheart

by bumblebeesknees



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Communication, Episode: s02e20 Beside Still Water, Established Relationship, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Season/Series 02, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 21:58:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11860452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bumblebeesknees/pseuds/bumblebeesknees
Summary: Magnus’ bed hasn’t felt like his own without Alec in it. His body hasn’t felt the same without Alec’s warmth pressed up against it. From the second Alec takes his hand, Magnus doesn’t waste any time fixing either of those things. [Coda to 2x20]-When Magnus asks, “Do you want to get out of here?” it really, truly isn’t his intention to imply anything. He doesn’t even know what he expects. To finally pull Alec back into the loft, maybe. Sit on the sofa, conjure up another drink. Maybe rest his hand on the steady, reassuring beat of Alec’s heart and lean in to kiss his waiting lips.





	Lionheart

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Lionheart 狮心](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11958231) by [lumberjack_wannabe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumberjack_wannabe/pseuds/lumberjack_wannabe)



> hello! this story probably did not have to be 6k words of non-stop filth (because this is me, however, it _did_ have to have at least a quarter of it be full of sentiment), but clearly i characterize magnus as the most considerate lover to ever exist so here we are!! i have another story in the works right now that is a more nuanced look into the resolution of this arc, but this... isn't it.
> 
> anyway there's nothing i can say that will excuse this fic so i'm just going to hope you enjoy reading! :D
> 
> thank you as always to [partnerincrime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/partnerincrime) for the beta - any remaining mistakes are my own.

When Magnus asks, “Do you want to get out of here?” it really, truly isn’t his intention to imply anything. He doesn’t even know what he expects. To finally pull Alec back into the loft, maybe. Sit on the sofa, conjure up another drink. Maybe rest his hand on the steady, reassuring beat of Alec’s heart and lean in to kiss his waiting lips. 

Except knowing Alec, he wouldn’t be waiting for Magnus at all – he’d already be moving in, pressing his mouth against Magnus’, at once sweet and alluring. 

_Hello,_ the kiss would say. _I’ve missed you._

But then Alec takes his hand as they walk. His fingers slot in between Magnus’, as easy as coming home. He keeps sneaking glances at Magnus with a relieved, disbelieving kind of joy overtaking his face each time and it’s – it’s a lot. 

The way Alec looks at him is always _a lot_ but Magnus’ reaction right now is amplified, magnified. Ramped up to a hundred. Just minutes ago, the sheer exhaustion of the last few days had been pulling down at his bones. Magnus could’ve sunk into bed and actually manage to ignore the wrongness of it, how cold and empty it’s been. But then Alec had found him, refused to let him slink off and Magnus is still feeling the effects of it. 

The adrenaline that’s running alongside the blood in his veins, sparked to life by the touch of Alec’s skin. The cold air tempers some of it, but Magnus has no defenses against the warmth of Alec’s smile, the tenderness blossoming each time he feels Alec’s thumb absently caressing his knuckles. 

“Still can’t believe it’s over,” says Alec, though he doesn’t sound torn up about it. He sounds happy, thinks Magnus. Light. As though he’s finally divested that weight he’s been carrying around on his shoulders. “I almost don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Go to Bali for a few days,” suggests Magnus, toes curling at the thought. It’s been far too long since he’s been back to the islands. “Laze around the beach. Get some sun.”

“That sounds like what _you_ want to do with yourself,” counters Alec, laughing. How long has it been since he’s heard Alec laugh? “But no, I’ve got plans, Magnus. We should talk about it in the morning, how we’re going to re-establish the Cabinet.” 

Startled, Magnus asks, “You want to re-establish the Cabinet? Even though Valentine’s gone?” 

“Of course. Valentine wasn’t the only threat out there for downworlders,” says Alec, throwing Magnus a strange look. “We can’t let our guards down. That group wasn’t a special committee – it has to be consistent if we’re ever going to see real change.”

Magnus stops in his tracks and their joint hands cause Alec to come to a halt as well.

Unsure how to characterize the feeling that’s causing his heartbeat to thunder in his ears, Magnus says, “You’re really following through with this.”

“Obviously,” says Alec, and to Magnus’ horror he starts to frown. “When have I ever not follo–”

“Never,” says Magnus quickly, suddenly anxious to make sure Alec understands this because – it’s true, Alec’s never done anything to make Magnus think he wouldn’t follow through with any of his promises. Alec’s made himself unpopular with the Clave, with the shadowhunters under his command to make even the small progress that he did because he really, truly believes this is the first step. That it’s his duty to the downworld to do this. 

Magnus doesn’t have a single doubt that if he crushed Alec’s heart under the heel of his boot right now, Alec would still go through with this impossible, idealistic goal of trying to bridge a centuries old chasm between his people and Magnus’.

Once more, the magnitude of it hits him with the force of a train crash – that Magnus _can_ have both and he always could have. He can have a love that consumes him whole and do right by the people who rely on him because Alec – Alec’s going to help him. How had Magnus lost sight of this?

“Magnus?” asks Alec, and now he really is frowning. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” says Magnus and all at once it hurts to look at Alec again. Magnus wants to almost shy away from the softness of Alec’s gaze. 

Alec, who found him and apologized. Magnus had barely been able to look at him, how easily he’d taken full responsibility for everything that happened. The stupid boy probably doesn’t even think Magnus did anything wrong – thinks that the way Magnus had cut him off and froze him out was deserved. Expected. He hadn’t hesitated to bare his heart to Magnus again. Almost defiant with that contrary tilt to his chin, as much a dare as anything. 

_Yes, I love you, and I’m not going anywhere_ , it seemed to have said, even as Alec’s hands had been shaking with nerves. Not knowing what Magnus’ response was going to be. _But the rest of it is up to you, Magnus – what are you going to do about it?_

Magnus must stay silent for too long because Alec starts to say, “Are you sure, because–”

He doesn’t get to finish that sentence because Magnus is stepping into his space, pushing him back until he’s flush against the rough brick walls of the alley behind him. Startled, he blinks down at Magnus with those huge hazel eyes and the shadow of his eyelashes fall on the crest of his cheeks. His heart is suddenly hammering in its cage, each beat reverberating against Magnus’ palm. 

Quietly, Alec says, “Magnus?”

“I love you too,” says Magnus, throat tight. It’s not the answer to the question Alec just asked, but it is a truth that Magnus needs to say, that he needs Alec to hear. “And I’m sorry, for my part in what happened.”

“What are you talking about?” asks Alec, brows drawing together in confusion.

“You know what. I was impulsive, I was lashing out. I hurt you and – and I meant to. I meant to make myself cold. When you said you wanted to talk I thought.” Magnus swallows, his throat dry. “Honestly, I wouldn’t have been surprised if you wanted to punch me.”

Alec looks shocked at Magnus’ words. And then he starts to laugh. 

Stung, Magnus says, “Why are you–”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” says Alec. “How could you possibly think that I’d ever–” Smile still lingering at the corners of his mouth and eyes, Alec places a careful hand on Magnus’ cheek and says, “You know I love that face.”

He’s so gentle. Magnus closes his eyes and leans in to the touch. The familiar calluses on Alec’s fingers prickle against Magnus’ skin. “That’s not the part of my apology you should be focusing on.”

“Why don’t you let me worry about what part of you to focus on.”

And then Alec’s leaning in, tilting up Magnus’ chin and capturing Magnus’ lips between his own. He’s soft and undemanding, the way he usually only is under the golden light of the early morning sun and he’s so lovely that Magnus almost can’t bear it. It’s Magnus who leads it into something more insistent – he opens up his mouth, curls his fingers into the front of Alec’s shirt and pulls him close.

Magnus had always thought that kissing Alec is a whole experience in and of itself but right now it’s as though he’s discovering it for the first time, the way each detail stands out sharply, burned into Magnus’ mind: the welcoming heat of Alec’s mouth sends lightning shooting down Magnus’ spine and Magnus has to close his eyes so he can focus only at the languid, tempting press of Alec’s tongue. He sighs Magnus’ name with as much reverence as a prayer whispered under the cover of night.

 _I’m sorry,_ Alec had said, and his gaze might as well have been twin stars going into supernova, the way they burned through Magnus. _I can’t live without you._

“I love you,” Alec murmurs now, head tilting back and hitting the wall when Magnus moves away from his mouth, follows the line of the deflection rune to suck at the curve of Alec’s neck. He tastes salt on his tongue, feels Alec’s pulse flutter under his mouth. Alec’s hands have moved to cradle the back of Magnus’ head, and he gasps when Magnus bites down, fingers trying to curl into the short locks of Magnus’ hair. 

“God, Magnus.” Magnus hums in response, doesn’t stop nipping at Alec’s neck and soothing the tender skin with his tongue. The rune will hide most of the bruising but not all of it and just the image of waking up tomorrow morning and finding the marks of Magnus’ mouth peeking out of the black is so – so satisfying in the most primitive, feral way. He bites down harder, more teeth than lips and the sound that Alec makes is wholly indecent. 

Magnus wants to hear it again. He reaches down to the waist of Alec’s pants and only barely pauses before trailing his fingers to the front. 

“Oh.” Alec’s whole body shudders. “I’ve missed you.”

Alec’s getting hard. If Magnus had it in him to tear away from Alec and look down, he’s sure to see the long line of his cock and it’s obscene how Magnus’ mouth floods at the thought. He flattens his hand and presses his palm against the length of it and Alec’s moan is ripped out of him, the sound echoing down the alley and lingering in the air.

 _“Magnus.”_ It’s only two syllables but they still get lost between his shallow breaths as he grinds down almost helplessly into Magnus’ hand, grasping at Magnus’ shoulders for purchase. 

It’s been so long since he’s fully had Alec like this that he thinks about just finishing him off here – get down on his knees and get Alec loose, suck him off and bend him over and omit to mention that Magnus’ magic is hiding them from sight and diminishing their sounds. Let him think that the outside world can hear them and see if he’d try to stay silent or still say Magnus’ name in that broken shout as he comes from nothing but Magnus’ cock.

It’s a stray thought that vanishes almost as soon as it forms. Magnus doesn’t move his hand from between Alec’s legs, doesn’t stop teasing him through the infuriating barrier of thick fabric separating them. There’s no way Magnus could physically move away, not when those tormented little sounds are being drawn from Alec because of it – but when he lifts his head and looks into Alec’s eyes, it’s to find that his pupils are blown wide, the colour in his irises almost completely edged out. Magnus can see his reflection in the liquid black staring back at him and all coherency disappears from Magnus’ mind at the sight of it.

“Oh,” says Magnus, and it’s a whisper against Alec’s exquisite mouth. “How I’ve missed seeing you like this.”

“If you’re going to fuck me out here, you’ve got to commit fast,” says Alec, closing his eyes and letting out a strangled noise when Magnus squeezes him, just a little bit too hard. “I – ah – I haven’t gotten off since that last time. With you.” 

Magnus freezes. Alec’s face had already been flushed, but now the red is even more prominent on his cheeks.

“What,” says Magnus faintly. 

“Why do you sound surprised,” says Alec, breathless and sounding almost defensive. “You know that I don’t like it by myself. And I’d – I’d have ended up thinking about you anyway which would’ve felt weird when you were pissed at me.”

There is a sharp edge to his words, one that Magnus realizes is to cover – embarrassment, maybe. Magnus has no idea why Alec could possibly be embarrassed over something that has desire flaring through Magnus and devouring him whole. His glamour must slip because without warning, Alec’s mouth parts in a silent whimper and his hips stutter even as he holds onto Magnus’ gaze.

“If you – if you keep going like this,” says Alec, starting to rock into Magnus, “I’ll be coming in my pants and ruining it.” 

As if that would ruin _anything_. Magnus’ voice is hoarse as he says, “Don’t you worry about that, darling. I’m going to take care of you.”

A portal is already taking form beside them, time and space bending not to accommodate Magnus’ conscious will, but to that immeasurable need clawing through his veins, desperate to have Alec spread out underneath him. He’s been so determined in keeping his longing for Alec at bay that to have it crash through him feels like a revelation. Alec, who is already fumbling with Magnus’ belt, pulling it loose as Magnus guides him toward the portal and into Magnus’ bedroom, kissing him all the while. 

Alec, who hasn’t even touched himself while Magnus had been gone. He must be wound so tight. He’ll probably come within a minute of Magnus actually getting his hand around him. 

“Dropped your belt back there,” says Alec apologetically between kisses, pushing off Magnus’ jacket from his shoulders. Magnus does the same with Alec’s, lets it fall in a crumpled heap on the floor.

“I couldn’t care less.” That belt cost Magnus’ two thousand euros and it’s a laughably small price to pay to have Alec back here. 

It’s like their first time all over again. Alec is laughing quietly against Magnus’ mouth as they struggle out of their shoes and toe off their socks, still kissing Magnus as he falls back into the bed to be caught by Magnus’ decadent collection of pillows, dragging Magnus down with him. He pulls up his knees and lets his legs part, makes the perfect space for Magnus to settle into, for Magnus to press up against the swell of his cock. 

Alec makes the most delightful sounds as they move against one another, and there’s only a brief moment of confusion when Magnus moves away. It tapers away though when Magnus slides his hands under Alec’s shirt and runs them up his sides and along his ribs, feels his muscles flutter under Magnus’ touch. 

He tugs on the collar of the shirt and murmurs, “Let’s get this off of you.”

Alec only has to lift his shoulders for Magnus to pull it off. The drag of the fabric makes a mess of Alec’s hair, and that combined with his bright eyes and well-kissed mouth and the way Magnus can see the a sliver of the bruise on his neck – Alec already looks like he’s been thoroughly fucked but still desperate for it. Everything in his dazed, eager gaze is begging for more. 

Magnus can’t think of a greater privilege than complying so he does just that – he curves down from where he’s settled between Alec’s thighs and kisses him again. He tangles a hand into the soft dark locks of Alec’s hair and uses the other to run down Alec chest, scrapes his fingernails absently a hardened nipple. He bites down on Alec’s pillowed lips, swallows the surprised, muffled groan that follows.

Not even pretending to try and answer, Alec arches up into the kiss and follows the lines of Magnus’ body from the neck to the waist. His fingers are deft, first unbuttoning and then unzipping and then reaching in and taking Magnus in his hands.

“Ah, angel, no need to be delicate with me,” says Magnus, pleasure and frustration wracking through him at Alec’s careful touch, the way that he is when he’s worried that his skin is too rough without anything slick to temper it. But then Alec heeds Magnus’ words and his grip becomes firmer, the pivot of his wrist more insistent – and Magnus remembers how much he loves it, how the burn of it is followed by that liquid euphoria. The hardened callus on Alec’s thumb catch at the head of Magnus’ cock and it’s so – so _much_ that Magnus shudders with the force of it, buries his face into the hot, welcoming alcove at the juncture of Alec’s neck and shoulder. 

The surety of Alec’s hands are a blessing from the heavens, Magnus is sure, though if it’s a gift to Alec or a gift for Magnus is anybody’s guess. All Magnus knows right now is that Alec’s hands must have been made for this. All of Alec must have been made for him. Made to love Magnus and coax this glorious, excruciating pleasure out of him. 

And then Alec, sounding almost frustrated, distractedly mutters, “This isn’t working,” into Magnus’ ear.

“Darling,” says Magnus, because he’s never heard a statement so factually wrong. “Let me assure you, it – it most definitely is working.”

“Your stupid – jeans or whatever – are in the way,” and then to Magnus’ horror Alec’s pulling away. 

“ _Alexander,_ ” groans Magnus lifting his head and looking at Alec in betrayal. “What are you–”

“Taking those off,” says Alec. He tries to do just that and also kiss Magnus at the same time, running those hands that should be wrapped around Magnus’ cock over every inch of skin he can reach underneath Magnus’ clothes. He widens the space between his legs, lifts his feet and uses them to push down at the waist of Magnus’ jeans until they gather at his knees. He drags his heels back along Magnus’ bare thighs and does the same thing again – this time to do away with Magnus’ underwear. 

Fuck, thinks Magnus. Where on Earth is Alec getting these ideas from?

Alec makes a dissatisfied a little sound when Magnus pulls away, but Magnus just shushes him with a quick, “Let me just–” and just banishes every piece of clothing on his body. “Better?” 

“Much,” says Alec but the hazy desire in his eyes sharpen and then soften as he stares at Magnus’ bare chest. Magnus follows his gaze to see what’s caught his attention and – oh. 

It’s the omamori Alec had given him, hanging off a twine cord around his neck. 

All at once Magnus feels his pulse thundering in his ears, almost afraid of Alec's reaction.

“You still kept this with you?” murmurs Alec, reaching for the red and gold charm. His touch is tentative, as though half convinced it’ll disappear once he makes contact. 

It’s not meant to wound – not when they’re tangled in each other like this – but Magnus still feels the words strike him deep. He remembers holding the charm in one hand, having the Seelie Queen’s rose in the other. The petals had turned black but even after keeping Magnus company through hell and back, the omamori still looks brand new, as though under the protection of a spell. 

It’s supposed to bring you luck and protection, Alec had said that day, eager and oblivious to his honest, straightforward charm. Magnus’ heart had felt so full that it seemed to have pressed up at his throat, making it impossible to speak. To breathe.

That exact same feeling courses through him again as he whispers, “Of course I did.”

Alec shakes his head, as though in disbelieving wonder. Magnus doesn’t get a chance to chide him though – for thinking even for a second that Magnus would be stupid enough to let go of something seeped with the magic of Alec’s devotion – because Alec’s twisting his fingers around the cord and pulling Magnus down to meet his lips, kissing him deep.

Something shifts in the room, in the space between the two them. The strokes of Alec’s fingers down Magnus’ back are less frantic, more indulgent. The nerves in Magnus’ mouth feel raw against Alec’s, too sensitive. For once since they got here, Alec doesn’t complain when Magnus abandons his mouth to move to the corner of his lips, then the line of his jaw, the jut of his Adam’s apple moving underneath that soft skin.

Magnus keeps moving down, presses wet kisses down Alec’s chest, his stomach. Alec’s got his hands in Magnus’ hair, and he pulls a little when Magnus licks his runes and runs his tongue along the hollow of his navel. Alec’s hips arch up when Magnus finally, finally divests him of his pants and boxers, tugs them off and tosses them aside.

Alec looks like he’s been constructed out of the filthiest, most decadent fantasy Magnus has ever had, gaze heavy and mouth silently parted, bitten red. The colour on his cheeks goes down his neck and shoulders and tapers off only at his chest. His cock is hard against his stomach, the head of it just as red as his mouth and already beading with precome. 

Alec closes his eyes as he slowly, deliberately moves a hand to touch himself. He does so lightly, the tips of his long, capable fingers barely fluttering against his length because Alec clearly loves to torture himself in this way, build up to that finish in stops and starts, the most devout believer in delayed gratification that Magnus has ever seen. 

Magnus has zero complaints. He could do this for hours, kneel between Alec’s legs and run his nails along the inside of Alec’s thighs as he watches Alec bring himself off. He still can’t quite look at Magnus when he does this but it’s only gotten easier and easier for him to comply whenever Magnus murmurs, “Let me watch you, darling.” 

The way he shivers all over and has to physically stop himself so he doesn’t shy away from Magnus’ ardent gaze, unused to having his warrior’s body being desired, coveted like this.

Over his life, Magnus has both collected and lost countless beautiful people and priceless things. Alec doesn’t belong to him, but he’s given himself to Magnus in a number of ways and all at once Magnus is reminded that he hasn’t ever been as possessive – as protective – of anything in the past as just the sight of Alec like this, bringing himself pleasure in a way he hasn’t done since Magnus walked away from him. 

This won’t do at all, Magnus thinks. He ignores his own aching, neglected cock for a moment and reaches down to gently move Alec’s hand away from himself. Magnus wets his lips and a garbled sound escapes Alec; his hips jerk up, as though trying to find its way toward Magnus’ mouth and Magnus can’t wait anymore, he literally, physically doesn’t want to waste another second before he’s bending down and–

“Wait,” says Alec, and there’s something about his voice that’s so terribly wrecked and unguarded that it makes Magnus pause, listen. Alec sits up, chest heaving. He sounds coherent, despite what he just stopped Magnus from doing, which is most definitely a personal failure on Magnus’ part. 

“I want – I want you to make love to me,” he says, quick and breathless, and Magnus’ cock jumps, his body processing the words faster than his brain can keep up. “And I want to see you while you do it.”

Once Alec's request finally registers, Magnus needs a moment to just - breathe. 

It's not unprecedented, but it is unexpected. They don’t normally go all the way, not when there’s so much fun to be had without it – Alec loves Magnus’ mouth on him with the kind of desire that’s incredibly flattering, and it's all just so much faster, easier. 

But they have done it this way once before. Alec had been both eager and anxious, so tense – and frustrated with himself _for_ being tense – that Magnus had to take what felt like hours, getting Alec relaxed by increments. In retrospect, it’s possible perhaps Magnus had taken _too_ much time – or Alec is just too sensitive for this kind of stimulation – because Alec had been half out of his mind by the time Magnus had been two fingers deep in the perfect angle to reach his prostate.

It had been intense, Alec had said after, fucked out and boneless. Incredible, and not something he could do often because of it. But it’s something he wants today. It’s something he wants right now.

His heart suddenly working overtime, Magnus asks, “Are you sure?”

“I’ve been sure since you took that dragon down from the sky,” says Alec. His eyes just a thin ring of hazel around a cavernous well of black. “Do you want to?”

“Do _I_ want–” The question is so absurd that Magnus can’t even finish. From not being able to touch Alec at all over the last few days to – to _this_ , being able to get his fill of him not just from his lovely mouth and capable hands and endless miles of warm skin – but that deep, scorching heat inside of him–

Magnus has to take a long, calming breath before he can compose himself. 

“I want to,” he says, simple and honest, and leans forward to kiss Alec again. 

This time there’s more heat, more intent, open-mouthed and messy. There’s a renewed, frenzied energy blazing inside Magnus, lending his thoughts a singular focus. He doesn’t stop kissing Alec as he eases him back until he’s propped up against the small mountain of pillows behind him, feels a thrill shoot up his spine when Alec plants his feet flat against the blankets and draw his folded legs further up, widen the space between his knees.

When Magnus moves away to look at him, he wonders how he ever managed this the first time – concentrate on getting Alec ready when he’s spread out like this, everything from his heady gaze and parted legs just begging Magnus to take and take and take. It’s almost offensive, how Alec makes it so easy for Magnus to devour him.

He stares at the way Alec’s cock lies heavy on his stomach, thinks about how he can’t quite see Alec’s entrance from this angle but knowing that it’s there and waiting to be opened up by Magnus – and he must stare for too long because Alec makes discontented sound and starts reaching between his legs himself, tilts his hips just the slightest bit and that jolts Magnus into action. 

“Oh, no,” says Magnus, grasping Alec’s wrist and pushing his hand away. “I’ll be taking care of that, my darling.”

Alec no doubt has a smart retort waiting at the tip of his tongue but when Magnus starts to take off his rings, he can physically see the change in Alec’s face, pinpoint the moment coherent thought vanishes from Alec’s mind. The frustration fades into unbridled _want_ , his gaze turning lava hot. He watches Magnus twist the rings, slide them off one by one and banish them to the dresser with a careless flick of his wrist. 

Alec’s breathing gets more rapid. His lips part and it’s something deeper than instinct that has Magnus reach forward with his bare hand, touch the softness of Alec’s mouth carefully, tentatively. Alec doesn’t wait a beat before he darts out with his tongue, licks the tips of Magnus’ fingers and takes one, two of them inside his mouth. He doesn’t look away from Magnus as he sucks, gets Magnus’ fingers wet with the filthiest sounds echoing in the silence of the room.

The need to be inside Alec becomes paramount. Magnus pulls out his fingers with a slick _pop_ , reaches down to drag them across Alec’s hot, tight opening. 

Alec hisses at the cold and immediately shuts Magnus out even as he grasps onto Magnus’ arms. “Are you – are you going to–”

“Of course not,” chides Magnus. It’s the easiest thing for Magnus to transform the saliva coating his fingers into something slicker, warmer. “Give me a little credit, Alexander. Get that leg up on my shoulder.”

Alec huffs out a little breath of laughter as he does just that. “Okay, okay.”

Magnus barely has to turn his head to press a kiss to the inside of Alec’s thigh, pulls in a pillow to settle under Alec. “Relax for me, darling.”

Alec, predictably, does not relax, though he deserves tremendous recognition for his efforts in trying do so. He gasps when Magnus slides that first finger in as though surprised by how easily he can take it, clenching right above Magnus’ knuckle. Going in with two after Alec gets used to the one takes more effort – slicking up his fingers again before easing in just the tips of them and slowly moving them in a third of the way through. 

“Ahh,” Alec softly cries out, instinctively trying to close up again and again around Magnus and being unable to do so. The width of two fingers is worlds different than just the one, and Magnus makes a calming noise, soothingly runs a hand over Alec’s hipbone. “Just – just gimme a second.”

By the time Magnus is all the way in, sweat has already starting to gather on Alec’s forehead and along his hairline. Magnus starts with slow, shallow thrusts, getting Alec used to that nebulous, almost unbearable feeling of being full and open. He crosses his fingers, works Alec loose with careful twists and turns. 

When he curls inside Alec just a little, trying to find that spot guaranteed to drive Alec crazy, Alec bites down on his plush lower lip and goes tight around him again. Magnus has to remove his free hand from Alec’s knee to press the heel of his palm against his own arousal to try and abate this whole new level of desire that grips him as he wonders with lust driven incredulity on how Alec ever took his cock last time. The first time.

But slowly, surely, Alec gets used to the glide of it, starts to move in rhythm with Magnus’ fingers. His cock bobs against his stomach with each minute shift of his body, spilling sticky strands of white and Magnus knows the second he’s found what he’s been looking for when Alec jolts with a sharp, _”Magnus,”_ tries to grapple at the useless silk sheets. It’s just a brush, the tips of Magnus’ fingers just grazing against the bundle of nerves – but the way Alec reacts, his leg tumbling off Magnus’ shoulder and suddenly Magnus can see Alec fully, see exactly where he’s disappearing inside of Alec behind his swollen balls, and it’s – it’s a lot.

“If you could look at yourself like this,” murmurs Magnus, tearing his gaze away from there to meet Alec’s eyes instead. “Ready for three, darling?”

Alec’s eyes are screwed shut, mouth parted as he cycles through shallow breaths. 

“Yeah,” he says, voice rough. “Yeah – do it.”

He whines a little when Magnus draws out, but Magnus doesn’t leave him hanging for more than a moment before he’s sliding back in with three fingers. Alec whimpers a little at how swift it is, muscles clamping down. Still, Magnus is glad he did a thorough job to work him open with two because Alec only needs seconds before he’s moving, not waiting for Magnus to start. He pushes himself down, and then back up, twisting his hips and chasing that hint of molten pleasure that came from the brush of Magnus’ fingers a few moments before.

From where Magnus is kneeling between Alec’s propped legs, he sees everything: the growing frustration and slow building pleasure from the fullness inside him and the infuriatingly light touches on his cock that Magnus keeps teasing him with. 

“Stop – stop messing around.” The words come out stilted, broken. “C’mon, Magnus.”

“Your wish,” says Magnus, and bends his wrist, starts to move his fingers with purpose. 

“Son of a bitch,” swears Alec, and his eyes roll back as his spine curves up, pushing into Magnus’ fingers in helpless, artless thrusts. Between the two of them they’ve got the angle just right so that each rock of Alec’s hips ends with Magnus’ fingers just brushing up against his prostate because he keeps writhing away from that barest hint of pleasure before desperately coming back down and saying, “Just go – go in a little bit more, please Magnus, I’m so – it’s not enough–”

“What do you need, my love?” asks Magnus, even though he knows the answer. He doesn’t know what he has to gain from playing with Alec in this manner except that glorious, ferocious look on his face when he blinks open his eyes and stares at Magnus, his gaze glowing with hunger. 

Magnus’ skin is burning, feels like it’s stretched over his muscles which have gone taut with the effort it’s taking to rein in his want, to lock down his magic from breaking out and wrapping around Alec and showing him the limits of how good his beautiful body can truly feel. Soon he won’t have to anymore. He slicks up his own cock in preparation, almost delirious with how it feels to swipe his thumb over the head, squeeze the length and stroke along the veins. And then he’s reminded that this is nothing compared to how incredible _Alec_ will feel.

“Get in me,” says Alec, even as he doesn’t seem capable of stopping his hips from moving. “I’m ready, Magnus – just – just fuck me. Make love to me. God, I don’t care – just get inside of me.”

There’s absolutely no universe where Magnus doesn’t immediately follow that command – but there’s also no universe where he doesn’t kiss Alec and so he does that first, leans in and draws out a desperate, throaty moan from that beautiful mouth.

Alec’s hips are already tilting up, as though trying to follow Magnus’ fingers as they slide out of him. The way that Alec can’t stay still, his leaking cock and dazed eyes, the way he draws his legs up to his chest, parts them as best as he can so Magnus has simple, easy access to him – Alec’s desperate to be fucked and Magnus is even more desperate to fuck him.

And so Magnus lines himself up along Alec’s opening, braces himself on Alec’s knees and softly says, “You really are the most exquisite creature I’ve ever seen, Alexander.” Alec’s eyes glow at the unexpected praise and that’s what Magnus is looking at as he finally enters Alec.

Alec’s slick from Magnus’ earlier work but his breath is still wrenched out of his body as Magnus pushes in. Three fingers can only do so much, and Magnus can feel Alec stretch around him the deeper he goes into that delicious, endless heat. It’s so _good_ that Magnus can’t stand it, the way rapturous desire expands through his body from his cock and the endorphins rush into his bloodstream, his neurons firing out of control. 

He’s just so hot, so tight and when Magnus finally comes to a halt because he can’t, he actually can’t go any further in – Alec instinctively clenches around him, muscles moving around Magnus’ cock and being unable to close because of him.

Magnus barely notices that the lamplight goes out with a crackle, the pleasure wracking his body in vast, uncontrollable waves. He moans out Alec’s name, and when Alec rasps out, “Magnus, oh, oh God, it’s so much–” Magnus feels his control unravel just that much further. 

Alec’s eyes are screwed shut, mouth parted as he cycles through shallow pants. When Magnus shifts inside of him, his back lifts off the bed and a wrecked noise is pulled out of him. 

“I can feel you there inside of me. You’re – you’re right there.” It’s the only warning Magnus has before Alec’s wrapping his legs around him. He hooks his ankles together at the base of Magnus’ spine to hold him in place, braces his hands on Magnus’ shoulders and starts to fuck himself on Magnus in disharmonic thrusts. “Come on – fuck me, Magnus–”

Magnus isn’t going to survive this night but he’ll be damned if he goes out without seeing this through.

It’s excruciating to have to pull away from the unbelievable heat inside of Alec even if it _is_ only so he can go back in, again and again. Alec practically sobs Magnus’ name each time Magnus slams his cock inside him and soon Alec stops rocking back into Magnus altogether and just holds on to him instead, too close to the precipice to keep up with Magnus’ demanding pace. Magnus driving into his prostate every three seconds must be driving him crazy because he just – he just _takes_ it.

He ends up curved against Magnus, head resting on Magnus’ shoulder. Magnus hears and feels each of Alec’s raspy breaths against his ear and when his hands can’t keep hold of Magnus’ arms any longer, he just grapples at Magnus’ back instead. His nails claw at Magnus’ shoulder blades and down the column of Magnus’ spine and Magnus hisses at the sting even as it drives him just that much closer to the edge, making his thrusts faster, more erratic. 

“Magnus,” says Alec, and his voice sounds destroyed. “I’m so close, I’m – I’m gonna come–”

“Yes,” says Magnus, and it’s not anything – barely even a response – but Alec takes it as permission. “Yes, Alexander–” 

It’s only then that Alec moves his hands away from Magnus. One goes to grab on to the sheets for anchor while the other goes around his cock. 

“Magnus,” Alec says again. “Magnus, Magnus–” and it must be the ninety-eighth, ninety-ninth, the hundredth time tonight but Magnus will never tire of hearing his name fall from Alec’s lips. He’ll never tire of seeing Alec like this, desperate and strung out, sweat dripping off his hair as he tips his head back in ecstasy as he brings himself to completion. The entirety of Magnus’ vision narrows down to just the arch of Alec’s neck, the way his Adam’s apple moves as he struggles to draw breath, the sharp lines of his deflection rune against his pale skin. 

Alec’s litany of Magnus’ name cuts-off with a sharp gasp when he comes, the hot burst of it hitting Magnus’ stomach. When Alec tightens around him that one last time, Magnus’ moan echoes between the walls and stays ringing in his own ears long after the last of it dissipates from the room. Alec collapses against the pillows with a deep, contented sigh, and he looks so beautiful that it grips Magnus’ racing heart, causes it to shudder.

Alec’s face goes through subtle, minute shifts as Magnus moves inside him. When he blinks his eyes open, his gaze is indulgent, blissed out.

“Don’t slow down,” he says hoarsely. “It’s – it’s a lot, but - _oh_ \- it’s good. Keep going.”

Alec needs to stop saying things like this if he doesn’t want Magnus to completely lose himself. Already he feels himself unraveling, his magic expanding from his core and radiating out. He’s a breath away from coming. His skin is buzzing. His hands are trembling from where they’re braced on Alec’s chest and knee.

“Stop holding back,” says Alec, coming to the right conclusion even if he doesn’t know why. “Let go.”

“I can’t,” whispers Magnus. Already his vision starts to bleed gold. “I don’t–”

“Let go,” repeats Alec, gazing into Magnus’ eyes. Electric blue sparks are emitting from them, and for a brief, horrifying second Magnus thinks that Alec will flinch away. The effort of keeping his warlock mark covered is becoming too much when all Magnus’ magic wants to do is be free to love Alec the way his body is. A scatter of them fall on the smooth curve of Alec’s cheek with a crackle, disappearing into a wispy curl of smoke. 

Alec doesn’t even blink. He touches Magnus’ face, and the look on his face so tender that it has no place here. It’s too much, it’s too much for Magnus– “Why are you even trying to hold them back? You know that – you know I think your eyes are amazing.”

It’s not just his eyes that Magnus is holding back but at Alec’s words all of Magnus becomes undone. The sound that he makes when he comes is ravaged, wrecked beyond repair. Alec holds him through it, strokes his deft fingers down Magnus’ spine. He keeps holding on to Magnus even after he collapses on to Alec’s chest, the hair prickling Magnus’ cheek and the beats of his racing heart a wonderful, comforting sound to Magnus’ ears. 

For a little bit longer, they remain joined together. Alec’s hand moves up to gently scratch the back of Magnus’ head.

“Hey,” he says, quiet and content. Magnus closes his eyes, lets the warmth of Alec’s voice wrap around him. 

“Hello,” says Magnus. “What a way to end a war.”

Alec laughs a little, and Magnus can hear how it expands inside Alec’s chest. “Better than steak and a hot bath?”

“Leagues better. But hopefully we can still do the steak and bath.”

“Of course,” agrees Alec seriously. “But maybe after a nap.”

He’s already so pliant under Magnus, ready to fall into that nap. Magnus definitely spoils Alec as a lover if Alec’s not even thinking about the repercussions of going to sleep like this – but since Magnus has no intention of ever letting Alec go to find anyone else and delights in taking care of Alec this way, it’s a non-issue. 

Shaking his head, Magnus summons a damp towel to clean them up. With tremendous effort he pulls away from Alec and rolls off of him. Alec draws in a sharp breath.

“Oh,” he says, automatically drawing his legs together. “That’s – I’d forgotten. How different it feels after.”

“I know, my darling,” says Magnus, propping himself up and running a soothing hand along Alec’s hip.

“Why didn’t you just magic that away?” asks Alec, sounding drowsy and amused when Magnus wipes the come off his stomach with the warm cloth. He sounds curious but unopposed, so Magnus keeps going. 

“I don’t know,” says Magnus. With his other lovers, he’d have spelled it away. Even the last time with Alec, he’d used his magic so that they could get back to holding each other just that much faster. This time though – this time is different. Magnus still feels like he’s in this perfect, unbreakable moment, and he wants to prolong it for as long as he can. “I suppose I just like the thought of it. Of using my hands to take care of you. In an innocent way.” 

Alec laughs, startling only a little when Magnus moves down to run the damp cloth gently down the length of his cock. It turns into a full bodied shiver when Magnus gently nudges his legs apart to reach further down still, to carefully dab at Alec’s slick, sensitive opening. 

“Oh,” says Alec, closing his eyes. His toes curl on into the sheets and he holds himself still as Magnus finishes. “Well, thank you. Job well done. I feel very taken care of. Do you want me to do that for you?”

“No need, my dear. It’s all done.” 

Magnus banishes the used up towel to the hamper and settles back down beside Alec, pulling one of Alec’s arms so they drape around his shoulders. He rests a hand on Alec’s chest, and not even a second passes before Alec’s resting his own hand atop Magnus’, twining their fingers together.

There’s something a little bittersweet that courses through him at the thought that the last time he’d held Alec’s hands before tonight, it had been right before he’d drawn away from them. It’s followed by a staggering weight of gratefulness – at having Alec back in his arms, having his solid, unwavering presence be reaffirmed in his life. Alec has always been there, hasn’t he? Waiting for Magnus to return – and coming after Magnus when Magnus wouldn’t have been able to find his way back in turn.

To think Magnus was going to come back here alone tonight, not have the taste of Alec’s skin still lingering on his tongue.

If Alec hadn’t come up to him with that fire in his eyes and that boldness to his steps, Magnus wouldn’t have done the same. He knows this. He’d have gone home and taken that hot bath, let himself rest for a minute, an hour, a week – until he could face the world again. Think about everything that’s happened and then conclude that it couldn’t be fixed. He’d think back to the day when he went to stop Alec’s wedding and remember staring up at Alec standing on the altar and daring him to break Magnus’ heart. He’d realize that the courage it took to chase after the potential of something great didn’t quite compare to the courage it takes to fight for something real and tangible, where Magnus knew exactly what he would have to lose.

He’s not like Alec. In his short life, Alec’s had his heart be bruised and battered by everyone who’s supposed to take care of him and yet here he is, opening himself up to Magnus again in more ways than one. It hadn’t been bravery that let Magnus fall in love with this beautiful, beautiful boy with the heart of a lion and the grace of what an angel is supposed to be. It had been nothing short of divinity. Something out of his control. The universe finally saying, here – here’s someone who will do right by you, who will stand by you. 

How had he thought Alec was holding him back?

“I’m sorry.” Magnus’ voice is soft as he speaks, perhaps too much so – Alec’s sleepy, contented, ‘hmm?’ in response sounds less like an acknowledgement of what Magnus said and more an acknowledgement that he’s heard Magnus say _something_ but doesn’t know what.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. He won’t be able to say it enough. “For pushing you away.” 

“Magnus,” says Alec, pressing what must be an exasperated kiss on to Magnus’ temple. “You’ve got nothing to apologize for. It’s fine, over and done with.”

“It’s really not,” says Magnus, and he may have been distracted before by the sweetness in Alec’s gaze and the even sweeter press of his lips under the dim lights of the alley but he needs to say this. “No matter my reasons, I shouldn’t have said what I did to you that day.”

Alec blinks open his eyes and stares at him. Unlike before, he doesn’t just laughingly dismiss Magnus’ words, as though Magnus has nothing to regret. The ease disappears from his face.

“You don’t hold me back, Alexander. You push me forward and give me strength when I most need it. And that’s not even getting started on the comfort and – and acceptance. Forgiveness.” Magnus pauses, still unable to process it. He’s known all this for a while now but saying it out loud is something else entirely. That for the first time in so many years – except no, Magnus realizes. This is the first time, period, that he’s had all of it, all at once. And right at the center of it all is Alec. “You give me hope.”

Alec doesn’t argue, but it’s more out of respect for Magnus’ need to speak than agreement because he can’t quite keep the growing incredulity off his face.

Has Magnus never said this? All of this is a truth that exists inside of him every moment, but it dawns on Magnus that ever since they started on this incredible, unprecedented adventure together he’s always waited for Alec to take the first step. Even tonight, when Magnus should have searched him out the second he got to the party. He should have staked out the entrance until Alec came in, seized the hope and happiness he brought with him and never let go.

“I mean it,” says Magnus, voice rough. “If against all odds someone as good as you can exist even when you were born in Idris and brought up surrounded by hatred then. Basic human decency can’t be too much to ask from everyone else.”

The silence that follows is heavy, even though it’s not quite uncomfortable. There’s almost a peace to the admission. 

Finally, Alec goes, “I don’t know what to say. Thank you, I guess.” 

“You _guess_ ,” teases Magnus.

“I mean,” says Alec, rolling over until he’s flat on his back, the movement tugging the sheets further down his body, pausing at the jut of his hip. “I don’t see myself that way but obviously – obviously I’m happy that you do.” He shrugs, self-consciously. “So yeah.”

“Well then, I _guess_ you’re welcome.”

Alec smiles a little, but his voice is serious when he says, “But you know – there are other shadowhunters who don’t agree with everything that the Clave does. Not just Jace and Izzy and Clary, but others. We have allies, Magnus. My friend Aline is one of them. Some of the Blackthorns, out in LA. And then over in the Institute in Casablanca–”

Magnus leans in and interrupts Alec with a kiss the second he realizes what Alec is doing, however unintentionally. 

“I’m sure they’re all going to be excellent people to have beside us,” says Magnus. “But none of them are you. None of that discounts everything I just said.”

Alec shakes his head. “Magnus–”

“Please don’t try and contradict me,” says Magnus, softly. “It would break my heart.”

Alec quiets, and for a long while he heeds Magnus’ request.

Finally he says, “I love you. And thank you for – for saying all of that. For loving me, too. Even though I don’t make it easy, at times.”

Magnus’ heart aches at the thought that Alec had spent even a single second thinking he’s not one of the greatest blessings in Magnus’ life.

"That’s – that’s not something you need to thank me for. Not ever.” Reaching for Alec’s face and turning it toward him, Magnus says, “It’s the easiest thing in the world to love you, Alexander. It’s everything else that’s complicated. Never you. Don't ever think it's a hardship for me to love you.”

And one more time, Magnus kisses him before Alec can say anything. Alec may not believe him quite yet, but the ease with which he kisses Magnus back, melts into him – Magnus thinks they’ve both got time to figure it out.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you all for reading! please feel free to drop a comment if you enjoyed :D


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